Waiting.It’s hard.We live in a culture that is so completely full of instant gratification.If we find that we have to wait for something, we can’t stand the thought of not having something to do while we wait.While we’re waiting in line, we’re grabbing our phones to scroll through Facebook.While we’re waiting for the doctor, we’re reading a magazine.While we’re in a season of waiting, we’re busy trying to control the circumstances.I’m stuck in this place right now.Anyone else?
Right now, God has called me to wait.And goodness gracious I have fought Him on it.Fought hard.As women, we often feel a need to be in control over every situation and every detail.My husband has lovingly told me that I can be “less than patient” at times.Of course I told him that he was absolutely wrong and that I was excellent at being patient.I have all the patience in the world because I know that God’s in control and that He’ll reveal everything when the time was right and I will be overflowing with joy at His perfect timing.I’m obviously very patient and I can definitely wait on God because He knows details that I couldn’t even begin to plan for.I know I’m patient because that’s what I pray for when I’m feeling stressed about my kids and the Spirit works in me to help me treat them with
kindness when the moments get tense.Of course I’m patient and excellent at waiting and my husband is 100% wrong…. right?
What about when I find myself having panic attacks for the first time in my life?What about the fact that I can’t sleep because I’m so overcome with anxiety about not knowing what’s next?What about my kids who see me crying every day because I’m so stressed that I can’t handle my emotions?What about the number of times I say, “I’m fine” even though I know that I’m a wreck inside?What about the physical pain because my body is so tense?What about the fact that my thoughts are so completely consumed by the things I want that I’m missing what God wants?
Friends, here’s my confession.I have had no less than 20 tabs open on my computer at all times trying to plan every detail of this next season of life.Of course, I easily justified it by saying that I was just trying to come up with a “back-up plan” in case God’s timing didn’t match mine.It didn’t matter that I knew God was telling me to wait.It didn’t matter that I knew He was telling me to relinquish control and trust Him.It didn’t matter that I wasn’t honoring my husband when he was asking me to just wait a few more months.It didn’t matter that none of my “plans” were working.I was just trying to come up with a back-up plan… right?
Ladies, I was wrong.God was asking me to wait.Not… wait, but control made-up details in the waiting season.Not… wait, but worry about the timing.Not… wait, but stop functioning in the day-to-day.He said wait and trust Him completely.He said wait and stop worrying.I have been so anxious about making a back-up plan to fit what I want, that I have missed the sweet intimacy with Christ that comes from complete obedience to what He wants.
I recently came across an Instagram post about viewing waiting as an act of obedience.It was as if it had been written directly to me.I have been doing the exact opposite of waiting in obedience.I was acting along of the lines of a child who is trying their hardest to get away with something while pretending to be obedient… doing “just enough” to technically obey, but not really obeying in my heart.
God has called to me to wait.And while I’m waiting, I must trust Him.If I shift my thinking and view waiting as
obedience, I am turning away from the idea that I have to be in control.This is a true season of refinement and learning what it means to completely surrender.To actively wait in obedience, I have to recognize when my anxiety and worry about the situation is taking over.I have to recognize when the enemy’s lies are creeping in.I have to understand that my emotions don’t tell the truth.To actively wait in obedience, I must trust that His best for me may not look like what I think it will.I must listen to His command to not worry.I must then actually stop worrying.In those moments of worry, I must turn it over to Him… to draw near to Christ as I place my complete trust in Him as my Lord.
I’ve been missing those moments of intimacy with Him because I was so consumed with my selfish wants.And I have so needed those moments!Isn’t it just like Him to know exactly what we need in every season?Isn’t it just like Him to tell us exactly how to abide in Him while we wait?And isn’t it just like us to become stubborn little children who fight every step of the way?
To actively wait in obedience, I will draw near to Christ in this season.I will stop worrying.His plan may not match mine, but I know His will be better. I know that He is preparing me for what He has already prepared for me. These are the verses I’m praying during this season of waiting.I pray they are an encouragement to you as well (all emphasis added).
Ruth 3:18 ~ Naomi said, “My daughter, wait until you find out how things go, for he won’t rest until he resolves this today”
Habakkuk 2:3 ~ For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it testifies about the end and it will not lie.Though it delays, wait for it, since it will certainly come and not be late.
Psalm 27:14 ~ Wait for the Lord; be strong and courageous. Wait for the Lord.
Isaiah 60:22 ~ The least will become a thousand, the smallest a mighty nation. I am Yahweh; I will accomplish it quickly in its time.
Psalm 62:5 ~ Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him.
Galatians 6:9 ~ So we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.
Isaiah 40:31 ~ But those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.
Psalm 37:7 ~ Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him; do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way, by the man who carries out evil plans.
Philippians 4:6-7 ~ Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
1 Peter 5:6-7 ~ Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your care on Him, because he cares about you.
I’m praying for you this week, my friend. If you are in a season of waiting right now, I pray that you will find peace in the season, and that it may be full of sweet moments with Jesus as He refines you and prepares you for what He has in store!